My Birthday

Well, the sun’s just come up and it’s my birthday

And a chance later, for my so-called friends to say

Happy Birthday you decrepit old so and so

Yes, some of them certainly do sink that low

But then looking back over the long long years

Given my state of health and despite all my fears

Perhaps I’m luckier than most to have lived this long

For these two deaf ears to hear that birthday song

So many others have shuffled off this mortal coil

Passed away, kicked the bucket, gone off the boil

But lucky? Maybe not a word I’d use to describe my state

Bad heart, bad hip, can’t move too well, that’s my fate

And I hate that the mind’s not what it used to be

Though I’m not sure why I should let that bother me

It’s expected isn’t it, that old people do forget stuff

My brain’s full, I reckoned I’ve remembered enough

I actually can’t quite recall what happened last week

But they tell me that some part of me sprang a leak

I think it may have been a vein in my arm

They fixed it, it didn’t do too much harm.

Of course that’s not all that’s happened to me

It’s quite an extensive list, a whole long litany

But who wants to hear an old man whinge

It goes and on, it’ll just make you cringe

I never wanted to be someone who’d moan

To everyone around me, who’d simply just groan

Sadly, afflictions and ailments are what we all share

But don’t tell me about yours, I really don’t care

I’ve got enough of my own, thanks all the same

Talk about something else, like last night’s game

I expect they’ll get me a cake and one big candle

Blowing out a heap would be more than I can handle

I hope it’s caramel, that’s what I really like the best

Though I suppose that I should have put in a request

I don’t expect to get a visit from my one and only son

He found me this home, and when it’s all said and done

He did his duty, he’s done his bit,

I can’t complain, because here I sit

In my comfortable room, a room with a view

There aren’t too many of them, just a few

And I can see the sun as it rises in the morning

As the poets say, watching a new day dawning

Well, they’ve been and brought me some tea

And now wheeled me out for everyone to see

Mike’s at the piano, playing the birthday song

All the other geriatrics are all singing along

I smile with thanks and gratitude

And don’t give anyone any attitude

It’s my special day and I’m happy to be above ground

Until I slide to the floor without even making a sound

And the last words I’ll ever hear as I slowly fade away?

“Oh my god, the old bugger’s carked it on his birthday!”


Yes, it is Cesmo’s birthday today

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